But no, you give birth and they hand you this tiny little stranger in a thick blanket and after a day or so together in a controlled environment, complete with housekeeping and 3 meals delivered to you a day if you did it in a hospital, they wish you the best of luck and off you go with a few reminders that shaking your baby is bad and to come see your chosen pediatrician in a few days and your lady parts doc around the same time. And you get through it. Sometimes with stumbling blocks {I've now learned to called these "stepping stones"} like anxiety or depression or even just a mild case of the baby blues. You've got everyone offering to babysit sometime, your mom and mother in law will sometimes stop in if you live close enough or make a trip if you're lucky to help out and meet their newest object of affection.
You eventually get over the lack of sleep, you figure out a rough routine, and life gets to a point of being your new normal. And probably around 9-10 months into the first year, you're confident you got this. You have figured out all the things. Parenthood is awesome (and I agree) and nothing can stop you now! Whooooo!
Until toddlerhood.
It's fun. Until, ya know, it's not and your child is screaming at you with real tears pouring down their face because you saved them from a broken neck or food poisoning or certain death/loss of limbs. Because...HOW UNFAIR!
How dare you cut that toast into strips when you KNOW it tastes better as a whole slice?!
How dare you refill my empty sippy cup?!
How dare you keep me from eating a live June bug?!


Oh, the emotions and drama. And even when you do something they want {like picking them up when they reach for you} there will bound to be tears at some point because they wanted up AND down. At the same time. Who cares that it is physically impossible to have mommy carry you and you walk on your own at the exact.same.time. They want it that way and no other compromises will work!
They find the very best reasons {and places!} to lose their dang minds and who cares about the laws of the universe?!
And you will be tested by a toddler in the aisles of the grocery store and you will learn you are not Jesus in the desert ;)
But it will all be well {right?! promise?!} This storm will pass. As will the others. But don't you wish we have some kind of manual for each specific model {child} that would at least sorta help us navigate the choppy waters of this sea of parenting...
Yea, me too.
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