Wednesday, March 28, 2012

3 Month Update & Photos

Vera turned 3 months old this past Friday and with our wedding anniversary on Sunday and S's birthday on Monday and the things we did this weekend, I never got around to posting her 3 month update.

Bad mommy, I know ;)

So let's see, this month:
I've noticed every day, V is more curious and alert and wants to look at EVERYTHING! Even in the moby wrap, she no longer naps for the entire wall but is staring and looking and turning her head constantly like she's afraid to miss a thing.
She vocalizes more and more as well and holds pretty fluent "conversations" with us when she's in the right mood.
I'm pretty sure she will be laughing soon, I think we heard the beginnings of it just the other day when S was tickling her sides and tummy.
My chunky monkey is approximately 14 lbs this month and still around 24.5 inches long, just .2 longer than last month but those are just at home measurements, not the ones at the pediatric office.
Vera loves to "swim" in the bath tub. I'll get in with her and hold her in a full bath tub and she'll kick and splash and squeal and smile...and try to swim away from me. It's kinda scary when she attempts the getaways but her joy when she splashes and plays makes me do it again and again for her. I'm going to have to get a splash pool for her this summer, it seems.
We are still breastfeeding and that's going very well with only a few hitches here and there but we've gotten past them!
She's a growing, happy girl and I can't wait to see what this next month bring us.


Oh and does this mean we're finally out of the 4th trimester?!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Being Sifted Like Wheat



That was my tweet this past Sunday. He had talked about being "sifted like wheat," how in the ancient times, to sift wheat, they would first smash the wheat on a hard surface by stomping on it or beating it with a flail. Next, the grain would be thrown up in the air where the chaff would be blown off by even a decent breeze and the heavier grains would fall back down to the ground below they were thrown. How life and Satan wants to sift us like wheat, meaning to throw us and scatter us into the wind. To basically destroy us.

This, I knew.

But then he got deep. Real deep. And talked to us how sometimes God does this as well. He sifts us. He gives us hardships and all we see is the right here and now, the negative, the hard parts. We refuse to see the bigger picture... In order to make bread with decent grain, the grain has to first be sifted. We have to be shaped and molded and sifted to become the people, the person, He needs. Our families need.

Just like the rock David found. The perfect rock. I don't think that rock started out perfect, maybe it was a big hunk of a rock, even square like...but on it's path to David, it maybe rolled down a hill and the rough, sharper edges where whittled away. Time had compressed it. Water flow had smoothed it out. And over time, this rock became the perfect, round, aerodynamic rock. But it didn't start out that way, if David had came across that rock even just a year or 2 prior, I don't think at the time, it would have been the rock he needed.

Am I coming across clearly?

Maybe not, since I've been away from the blog a little too much lately. But life has been difficult. There are nights that I cradle my screaming child with matching tear streaks because I'm afraid I can't do it anymore. I sometimes have scary thoughts. How maybe it would have been easier to have never had her. And it would have. Life would be simpler, easier, more carefree. In a moment of weakness, maybe even plenty of moments, I have lost my cool and screamed at an innocent baby, yelling for her to "just SHUT UP! STOP IT!" because I am about to break into a million pieces. Then I sob in the corner, kissing her sweet face because she isn't doing anything wrong. I'm the one in the wrong and I only upset her more with my moments of yelling.

I feel guilty, still do.

I'm trying to get better.

And it's no excuse but it's 1am and I'm grimy and covered in spit up and Lord knows what else, and I didn't get decent sleep the night before or all day, I'm running off of no food and minimal liquid, and I'm still in my pajamas from the night before...and I've lost my mind and any coherent thought process.

I just want her to stop it. I just want to pass out for days. I just want it to be easier. And I now realize in hindsight, I'm only being sifted. Satan was whispering in my ears, playing on my fears and insecurities, telling me I am a horrible mother, that I'm failing my child and family, that I am not strong enough... I'm being tested and strengthened for the days ahead. I'm being perfected into a decent woman and a good mother.

And when I look at my daughter when she's peacefully sleeping or even smiling up at me as I hold her in my arms, I know that I am strong enough and good enough and that I'm not the chaff to be thrown and scattered to the wind but the prized and worthy wheat that falls to the ground. I have been sifted.



Monday, March 19, 2012

The Holistic Mama Anti-Aging Skin Serum Review & Giveaway

My skin is a mess after pregnancy and the hormones that ran rampant. I looked like a high schooler going through puberty again, add in my light skin tone and even though the blemish has gone, I'm left with discoloration and spots on my cheeks. Now take into consideration that having a new baby means less beauty sleep for mama and even less time to have a complicated skin regimen. Less is more, even before Vera. I'm a simplistic kind of gal, down to my makeup routine.

I was sent a full size bottle of The Holistic Mama's Anti-Aging Serum. The first thing I loved about it was right there on the bottle, it is declared safe for pregnant and nursing mamas. Most skin serums that I've come across with great reviews aren't recommended for pregnant or nursing moms due to some of the chemicals.

Speaking of, there are no chemicals to be found in this serum. It's made of all natural oils. Nice, huh?

But I'm not going to lie, I'm a little skeptical.

When I first got the package in the mail, I excitedly opened up the bottle and while the smell wasn't bad or unpleasant, it was different. But it's no worse than some of the other skin care products I've used with heavy chemical-like scents. And for this review, for the whole month I didn't switch up my skin care regimen which is just washing my face twice a day with Oil Control Acne Wash by Nuetragena.

The first time I applied the serum, I noticed a few rough patches and flaky skin that got loosened and lifted up while massaging it into my skin. It feels a bit oily put it soon gets absorbed into my skin. Postpartum skin is a joy to behold.

Day 1 Photos (before application)


High points of interest are my cheeks...those are pink and purple spots from blemishes that are long gone.

On day 2, I'm still applying the serum at night after washing up. The smell is growing on me and seems familiar but I can't quite put my finger on it to identify it. No skin flakes this time so itmust be moisturizing well :)

By day 5, my skin texture has improved and seems softer.

After 2 weeks of use, at my bi-weekly coffee gathering, a friend tells me she thinks my acne scars are lightening up. I've told no one about this experiment so that's definitely a plus.

 

My spots have faded and while they aren't completely gone, they are MUCH easier to cover now!

I've been using the serum every night for a month and my scars and spots have lightened, my skin feels softer, and it's definitely well moisturized without feeling more oily than normal by the afternoon. I'm definitely impressed and no longer skeptical and have recommended it to all my girlfriends. And here's the best part...

The Holistic Mama is offering the same full size bottle to one of my readers, all you need to do is complete and fill out the Rafflecopter widget after clicking "read more!" 


Friday, March 9, 2012

When God Created Mothers & Fathers

I saw this online the other day and just about cried til I couldn't see the words anymore. Maybe you've seen it before, maybe you haven't but I'd love to share it with you.

When God Created Moms
by Emma Bombeck

When the good Lord was creating mothers,
He was into His sixth day of overtime, when an angel appeared and said,

"You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this one? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 180 moveable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that disappears when she stands up; a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; and six pair of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands...no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. The Lord nodded.

"One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" when she already knows. Another here, in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't, but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, "I understand and I love you," without so much as uttering a word."

"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve gently, "Rest for now. Tomorrow..."

"I can't," said the Lord. "I'm so close to creating something close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick, can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of the mother very slowly. "She's too soft," she sighed.

"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what the mother can do or endure."

"Can she think?"

"Not only think, but she can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you, you were trying to put too much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."

"What's it for?"

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride."

"You're a genius," said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there."

When God Created Fathers
When the good Lord was creating Fathers he started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of Father is that? If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."

And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would children have to look up to?"
And when God made a Father's hands, they were large and sinewy. And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do you know what you're doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."

And God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day...yet small enough to cup a child's face in his hands."

And then God moulded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. And the angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do you realize you just made a Father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?"

And God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle, and hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."

God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had every seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. "That's not fair. Do you honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?"

And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Banbury Cross, or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."

God worked throughout the night, giving the Father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained calm and tolerant. Finally, almost as an afterthought, he added tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now, are you satisfied that he can love as much as a Mother?"

The angel shutteth up.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

A Little Something For Mama

I've tweeted a few times about how I'm having to learn all over again how to take care of myself. I wear myself too thin sometimes and even forget to eat meals or to take naps when I'm tired and the baby is sleeping as well...

I'm more likely to buy something for Vera, my mom, my husband, my best friends...for anyone other than myself these days, even if it's something I really want because I usually feel the funds can go elsewhere and/or are needed more in another area than personal splurges.

So tonight, I did a little something for myself. I ordered my 1st Birchbox. I need a little pick-me-up sometimes. Sometimes, I want to look cute and feel pretty too when my daughter is dressed up and has cute bows on her head and I look like a ran down mess with my hair in a top knot, not a lick of makeup on my face, and a simple t-shirt for the ease of nursing.

Don't know what Birchbox is? You sign up, create your beauty profile, and once a month they send you deluxe sized samples of high end beauty products for you to sample and see what you like!

For $10 a month, who can argue with it? I sure couldn't. So I did a little something for mama and now I'm so excited to get my Birchbox and see what I get!

Wanna do something for YOURSELF? Sign up here for your own!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Monday, March 5, 2012

Transitioning

The day has come... It seems that I've started transitioning the baby out of our bedroom. She took a nap in her own crib for the first time yesterday and she slept for a good part of the evening in there as well.

I'm really not even sure I am ready for this...she's only 2 months old but she sleeps through such a huge chunk of the night (anywhere from 8pm to 3am...sometimes even 5am) that I don't see the reason other than my own comfort and security to have her in our room.

I mean, I love being able to pull her into bed with me during her 5am wake up and letting her nurse while I fall back asleep knowing when she is done, she will cuddle up even closer and fall asleep peacefully while I hold her. I love bed sharing most nights, sharing our warmth, going to sleep smelling the top of her head and her clean hair, feeling her little fingers "worry" the neckline of my tank top and my skin knowing she takes comfort from mommy being right there, and feeling her sweet breath with each exhale.

It's relaxing for both of us. I'm not sure I'm ready to completely let that go yet. At the same time, I don't want to worry about having to transition her to her own bedroom at 6 months old when she's gotten so used to being in our room that it's a totally new, foreign, and scary experience for her that will make it a difficult move...

 So what do you think, moms? Keep on co-sleeping and bed sharing on the occasion until it become impossible or go ahead and finish making the transition and see where it takes us?

Snuggling with Vera as she naps in my bed

Sunday, March 4, 2012

11 Things

I love me a good ol' bloggy game and I got tagged by my lovely Canadian friend, Sarah, over at Nurse Loves Farmer. First and foremost...some rules!

1. Post The Rules. (I love how rule number 1 is about rules...I feel repetitive here...rules, rules, rules. Okay, I'm done :)
2. Post A Photo Of Yourself & 11 Random Things
3. Answer The Questions Set For You In The Original Post
4. Create 11 New Questions & Tag People To Play Along & Answer Them
5. Go To Their Blog/Twitter & Tell Them You've Tagged Them

what? it's the most current one I have!

My 11 Randoms:
1. I tend to self-depreciate myself too much in real life and have just started to learn how to take a complement graciously.
2. I am a domestic abuse survivor. I am not a victim.
3. I still get nervous driving in a big metroplex...maybe it's because for the first year or so of driving it was country highways and dirt roads but I always grip the steering wheel a little tighter when I cross over into Dallas County.
4. The first time I ever drove further than 2 hours away from home by myself was to make an approximately 1,260 mile drive to my birthplace in Florida. I made it without a hitch, even though I was secretly petrified for the 1st half of the trip.
5. I want a 2nd baby eventually but currently, the thought scares me to no end!
6. Ever since becoming a mom, I've noticed myself getting "crunchier." Before, I couldn't care less what I ate and where it came from...Now? If I have an option of organic, locally grown, or anything similar vs other, I chose the organic, less sugary, locally produced, natural products.
7. I could never live too far from my mom...when I went to Florida for 2 weeks, I called her every night to hear her voice and cry a little to tell her how much I missed her and loved her.
8. I can weld. And drive a stick shift. And change my own tires & oil. I guess it comes from being one of the boys growing up?
9. I refuse to collect a bunch of knickknack items because I would hate to have to dust them.
10. I used to dislike the taste of coffee until I worked in a coffee shop in college...now? I can't ever get enough.
11. I am a recovering perfectionist since having Vera. Before, I couldn't relax if the house wasn't put together, floors clean, dishes washed & put away, laundry hung up, and everything dusted. Now, if I get out of my pajamas by noon and there are clean drinking glasses, it's a good day. It's amazing how long it takes to do even the smallest of tasks with a new baby in the house but slowly & surely I'm learning how to use my time wisely (thus the neglected blog space)

Questions from Sarah:
  1. If you could have any career/job in the world, what would it be?
    I'd love to sell my paintings but I have such a hard time parting with them. I put so much of myself in each piece that it feels like I've given away something inside of me each time one leaves me.
  2. What are your daily website/blog visits/reads?
    I visit Facebook and Twitter often even though I don't always post. I read Nurse Loves Farmer, Baby Rabies, The Bloggess, Growing Up Geeky, Confessions of a Semi-Domesticated Mama, and Our Growing Garden daily or whenever they have a new blog post. I actually get quite a few of them straight to my inbox :)
  3. What is your biggest pet peeve?
    Anything that lacks good, common manners. Really.

  4. What is your guilty pleasure?
    Margaritas with the husband on a Friday night while watching old movies on Netflix.

  5. Where is your favorite place(s) to shop for clothes?
    I buy my jeans from American Eagle, I like Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, and Old Navy. My style is pretty low key. Also, I refuse to buy something unless it's on sale. Oh and also, I LOVE thrift store shopping...you never know what you are going to happen upon! I've stumbled upon Vera Wang & the like for mere pennies.
  6. If you had to give up one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
    It would be tough at first but I think I could part ways with TV. I much prefer the silence of books anyways.

  7. Most of you are mommies or mommies-to-be...if you had the entire day to yourself, what would you do?
    I think the unanimous vote on this one would be a spa day. Wine and relax me, please!

  8. What do you see yourself doing in 5 years?
    This. Raising my child/children. Maybe even going back to school. I'm happy with the simple life I lead, it doesn't take much to entertain or excite me.

  9. What is your favorite thing about yourself?
    I tend to forgive extremely easy. It's not something I can change, I just dislike holding grudges and it's certainly something that's come in handy with marriage and love :P

  10. What's your biggest source of procrastination other than reading my blog? :)
    Hehehe! Reading other blogs, pinterest, and wasting time on Facebook.

  11. What chore do you absolutely hate doing?
    Taking out the trash or cleaning out the fridge. I can't decide between the two!

And my questions for the people I am tagging:
1. Why do you blog?
2. Favorite flavor of ice cream?
3. Everyone has one...so what's your biggest fear?
4. The one place you have always wanted to see or travel to?
5. What's your current obsession?
6. One thing you could change or improve about yourself?
7. How would you describe your sense of humor?
8. Last song you listened to?
9. Most vivid childhood memory?
10. If you had $1,000 to blow on whatever you wanted and you had to spend it, how would you?
11. Morning drink of choice?

I tag Sarah, Nykki, Jill, Nancy, and Danielle.

Can't wait to read them!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Ruined

Thursday night and I'm getting Vera ready for bed... My favorite part is what we jokingly call taking apart the baby and oiling their parts meaning she gets stripped down for some nakey time and gets lotioned up and rubbed down. It relaxes her and her skin gets moisturized. Win. She's had a bath, been taken apart and oiled, put into some fresh jammies, and it's time to tank up and get rocked in the chair.

Anyways, I had a tiny, painless milk blister on my areola and while I was feeding the baby, it must have worked its way out. S comes into the nursery to chat with me as I feed her and notices some red dribble coming out the side of her mouth. He freaks out and we discover together that I was lightly bleeding and what happened next will always bring a smile to my face...

He looks at me, looks at Vera, looks back at me and exclaims, "She's got the taste of blood! She's ruined!"

I nearly fell out of my chair laughing!



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